*** the mall

yep, i said it

i'll say it again

******************** the mall

for the past year... or maybe a little over a year i have gone to the mall, any mall and gone in store after store, season after season, semi annual after semi annual and i still have an empty ass closet... WHY?!?

and after i went to francesca's today to get a dress for my sister's graduation, i figured it out...

the mall doesn't make clothes for people like me!!!!

i'm not a 12 year old girl, or a newborn, or 40, or a 19 year old club rat, or plus size, or goth...the extremes that go from one store to the next

it was an epiphany that changed my life... i went into this store and got amazing pieces that i'm going to keep for years... the quality on these are aaaaammmaaazing... nothing like the crap in mallstore. i got amazing service and maybe it's just because i found a store that finally caters to my taste level around here, but i loved the way i felt shopping in there. i didn't feel rushed or impulsive or slutty or matronly... i felt like a lady... like myself.

so take that mall with your crowds and your parking spaces!!! ******************* you!

are you gonna go my way?

i should write in this more but i just don't know what to say a lot of times.

like... now...

i'm doing really well but i'm about to need something to occupy my time. i am praying that a job i want very badly is in God's will for me to get, and if that doesn't happen, i have something else planned. i just need to learn patience.

i write letters now, which i didn't do last time because i didn't think travis would like them. it's selfish, but it makes me feel better to write and make him a card. i just want him to know that i'm always thinking of him.

ughhh i want to make gumbo but it's too hot outside.... blahhh

like a walkman falls to pieces...

i really think i'm about to start sewing... i looked at a machine and have been looking at patterns... i always said i wanted to... why the hell not?

and i randomly got this song stuck in my head... i haven't heard it in 5 years and i'm pretty sure i burned the cd listening to it so much without skipping... i forgot how much i freaking LOVE the stills!

sdfjlsakdfjalskdjf

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

vegetable

blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

intentions aplenty

well hello erebody!

it's almost my equivalent of new year's, the time where i promise myself i'm going to do all the things for which i normally don't have time. this time i'm pledging to do a 5k, keep up a blog, and get my career started. i've even said i wanted to do a couple of other things but we'll see about those too(sewing... uhhhhhhhhh WHATEVER).

i feel better about this time. maybe it's because it's not the first, maybe it's because i'm more involved and know these people, maybe it's just because i'm in an entirely different place than i was three years ago but i feel better. last time, i was petrified, but i did very well. i could laundry list every thing i am doing different but i think it's just something to share over coffee and not over a blog.

of course i am sad and the realities are starting to set in, but i'm putting on my big girl panties and dealing with it. what else is there for me to do? i'm sure the day of will be a bit depressing... i'll probably intake 3000 calories and become a vegetable for 24 hours, which is usually what i do every time he leaves no matter how long it is or where it is, but life goes on for the both of us.

i believe in the power of faith, prayer, and good communication- it's gotten us through just about everything else before, why would it fail us now?